The Misinterpretation of Bisexuality

    Bisexuality isn’t the inability to make a decision, it isn’t me being greedy, and it certainly isn’t me “following a trend”. There are so many stigmas and negative connotations that come with being bi.ย Over the years I have received vile comments from both straight and gay people and it’s disheartening knowing that the majority of my friends (as well as the general public) don’t believe in the existence of my sexuality. An old friend whom I had helped out of the closet had the audacity (or ignorance) to say “you’re probably just gay and too afraid to admit it” when anyone who knows me can tell you that I am the first to admit to liking boys. It was at this point in my life that I realized I was fighting a war inside of a war.

    LGBT stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender yet somehow the bisexual part is always overlooked. We as a community are always talking about how we want social equality, yet within our own ranks there is an abundance of animosity aimed towards bisexuals, fueled by a general misunderstanding that we “want to have our cake and eat it too”. This stigma is grossly counterfactual and further perpetuates ignorance within our community. I understand not everyone shares these opinions, but every bisexual person I know feels persecuted from both sides and nobody deserves to feel that way. Especially by people who are asking for the same fundamental rights.

    As it is Bisexual Visibility Day I am taking the opportunity to dedicate my time and personal experiences in an attempt to shed light on the unnecessary divide within the LGBTQ+ community. It’s my goal to diminish the belief that we are here simply to disgrace the sanctity of monogamy. After all bisexuality is just another label for the way somebody was born and not a defining attribute to someones character. Sexuality is a never ending spectrum and everyone falls on it at different points, we are all figuring ourselves out and everyone deserves respect for who they were born to be.


    Alexzander Gore



    • Show Comments (7)

    • Maranda

      Loved it! Interesting feedback on how you feel bisexuality is forgotten and stigmaed.

      • Alexzander Gore

        Thank you ๐Ÿ’™

    • Junior Uribe

      #BiPride๐ŸŒˆThis Was Such An Insparation ๐Ÿ‘

      • Alexzander Gore

        I’m glad you thought so ๐Ÿ˜Š

    • Anonymous

      Thank you for your article, I’ve read it three times, and I feel like I have a decent understanding of where you’re coming from but I’m not sure you understand where some others are coming from.

      As a gay man with no attraction whatsoever to women, here’s my opinion of bisexual men. Some bi guys DO want to have their cake and eat it too. They want the appearance of being “straight” by having a girlfriend, but having guys on the side to satisfy their sexual urges, as we all know men are generally more sexual than women. Also, some guys who claim to be bi ARE actually gay yet feel it’s somehow “less gay” to say they’re bi. I was one of those guys who claimed to be bi in high school on my way to admitting I was gay. On a scale of 1-10 with 1 being the worst (gay) and 10 being the best (straight) being bi felt like a 5. I felt like in a straight society, I’d be persecuted less for being bi than gay, like it was more socially acceptable.

      I know I’m not alone in these thoughts, and this is why bisexual guys face the battles they face, because it’s often true that the guys who identify as bi either DO want to have their cake and eat it too, or ARE actually gay and too scared to admit it. I believe that this isn’t the case with ALL bi guys, bit for many this is the actual truth of the matter. We all face stereotypes. Being gay it’s assumed that I care about Lady Gaga, Beyonce, Britney, or Lana Del Rey, and I truly couldn’t possibly care less. I don’t listen to any of them. I also don’t wear tight glittery clothes, flick my wrists, dress in drag, and I’m not a whore. But here’s the thing; many gay guys DO listen to Lady Gaga while wearing a sparkly skirt and on their knees in an alley blowing a stranger they just met on Grindr. Some of your followers on twitter fall into this category.

      My point is, that every label has its stereotypes that are automatically placed on the individual. If they don’t apply to you then show that through your actions. You’re not a victim. I can’t tell you how many of my straight friends have told me, “You don’t act gay.” I don’t take that as a compliment OR as disrespect because I know that all they actually mean is I don’t fit the stereotype, as many do. What does bother me however, is some of the more stereotypical gay guys who think I’m trying to “act straight” or be “butch” as if you can’t really be gay unless you’re wearing makeup and calling your guy friends “girlfriend” or “bitch” as you debate whether Britney or Gaga’s latest song is better, all while taking slutty selfies making duck lips arranging your Grindr date for later on.

      My point is, we all have our stereotypes, I for one as a gay guy don’t persecute you or think you’re trying to “have your cake and eat it too” or that you’re “actually gay and afraid to admit it,” but I understand where the generalization comes from, and I don’t feel like you’re a victim of any injustice in the community.

      My last point on this topic is one that is personal to me. My physical preference in guys are very very masculine guys, those that the general casual observer would assume is “straight.” Often times, the guys I have relations with, currently or previously identified as “straight” or “bisexual.” If you’re a straight man dating a woman, or a gay man dating another gay man, in your moments of insecurity you may worry about other guys. When you’re a gay man dating a bisexual guy, you have to worry about EVERYONE. I can’t compete with a female. I may have the best mouth you’ve ever had, or I may be the biggest and best guy you’e ever had but if one day you desire what only a woman can provide you, I can’t compete with that. It perpetuates the insecurities that MOST people have. Sure, some guys are capable of monogamy, but many are not. And you expect me to compete with EVERYONE. I’ve been cheated on by guys with too many females to date anymore bi guys.

      I know this was pretty long, but if you made it this far congratulations and thank you for listening to my feedback and opinion. You may defy all the stereotypes that are unfairly put upon you, but they’re there because a lot of times they’re true. We all face stereotypes in some form or another.

      • Alexzander Gore

        I agree with most of your points however most of them come down to an individuals character and their partners own insecurities. that’s something that can’t be helped by anybody but themselves. Thank you for your input though. Opinions and discussions are always welcome ๐Ÿ˜Š

      • Unknown

        I really enjoyed reading this. I agree with mostly everything you stated. I do think however, some of the insecurities you seem to be facing i.e. “Not being able to compete” are not just exclusive to the LGBTQ+ community. Worry of not being good enough or being replace or rejected by someone is an insecurity in ALL communities. It’s based solely on the individual. Unfortunately, it’s the dang stereotypes that somehow give others a false sense of entitlement. People feeling entitled to even ask or assume whom someone else is having relations with is so odd to me. I,myself,am not an actual member of the LGBTQ+ community but I fully support it. I do notice in your post that you mentioned that the writer wasn’t a victim of any injustice in the community, I’m not sure that’s for you to say. Even though I don’t believe he actually said or felt he was. I don’t think he would allow anyone to victimize him in this manner. In fact, I KNOW HE WOULDNT. I only hope we as humans can one day stop all the dang labels and stereotypes. They’re just pointless. Also, when you said you said you were bisexual in fear of claiming you were actually gay, do you mean you didn’t feel for the women you dated? In a sexual way? I often think about this. Why is it not ok to change if you feel a certain way? I mean, I totally get that people are born gay, straight, bi etc..but I don’t understand why it’s so frowned upon to make any changes in your life whether it be sexual preference or hair color as long as you are being true to yourself and what you actually desire. Maybe I’m just more open than others. Idk. Anyway, I enjoyed reading your point of view.

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